My "Lifestyle of Learning" Testimony From Psalm 25:1-15

1 UNTO THEE, O LORD, DO I LIFT UP MY SOUL.

Yes, LORD, I look up to You for answers for my family and our "schooling". Why did You take so long to show me "Lifestyle of Learning"? Was it because I was too "self-sufficient and proud? Yes! What a proud mom I was, thinking that I could have the children excel in everything, character training as well as high academics, and that I could be a "Super-Mom"! But I see now that there were silent, insidious priorities of academic excellence hidden within my heart, and with older children plus nursing babies, my house and the training of my children suffered. My priorities were all wrong, LORD. Please forgive me!

2 O MY GOD, I TRUST IN THEE: LET ME NOT BE ASHAMED, LET NOT MINE ENEMIES TRIUMPH OVER ME.

Already I am ashamed...so many bad habits and wrong attitudes! I "soaked" them in Scripture, and I tried to protect them from evil...but my fear and pride got in the way, and they have obviously been hurt by it. Let not the devil win and triumph in my dear children's lives! Amen!

3 YEA, LET NONE THAT WAIT ON THEE BE ASHAMED: LET THEM BE ASHAMED WHICH TRANSGRESS WITHOUT CAUSE.

Do I have a "cause"? Maybe not...The laws prohibited so much back then. "Home schooling" was a new concept and not well-accepted, and I was trying to "prove" that it was the best way. Oh, how horrible is the "fear of man"! And my illness hindered, too. Or am I just making excuses?

4 SHOW ME THY WAYS, O LORD; TEACH ME THY PATHS.

This is my cry today, LORD! If getting my children's hearts is the answer, then please show me how to do it!

5 LEAD ME IN THY TRUTH, AND TEACH ME: FOR THOU ART THE GOD OF MY SALVATION; ON THEE DO I WAIT ALL THE DAY.

LORD, "unschooling" is not the answer, is it? But somewhere there is a "happy balance" with more relaxed "schooling", and LOL with minimum "basics" and lots of individual delight-directed learning must be it! I too, must "model" DELIGHT in learning, and spending quality time with You in Your Word is essential! You have "Lit my candle" and "enlightened my darkness"! (Ps. 18:28) LORD, continue to show me thy TRUTH! I WAIT on Thee...all the day!

6 REMEMBER, O LORD, THY TENDER MERCIES AND THY LOVINGKINDNESSES; FOR THEY HAVE BEEN EVER OF OLD.

Yes, please remember to be merciful to my family, LORD, in spite of my horrible failures! Amen!

LORD, You, have "appeared of old unto me saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting LOVE: therefore with LOVINGKINDNESS have I drawn thee." (Jer. 31:34) Wow! You drew me to yourself with loving kindness! So this must be the ANSWER on how to get my children's hearts-DRAWING THEM WITH LOVINGKINDNESS! May praise, gentleness, patience...and yes... even TEARS, replace the criticism and impatience, etc. (I never knew I was such an "ugly person" till I had lots of children and lots of stress!) :(

7 REMEMBER NOT THE SINS OF MY YOUTH, NOR MY TRANSGRESSIONS: ACCORDING TO THY MERCY REMEMBER THOU ME FOR THY GOODNESS' SAKE, O LORD.

O LORD, remember not the sins of my youth and my early motherhood. I feel like a total failure as a mom, and I confess my sins:

1) I did not really focus on "getting their hearts".

2) I was too hard and critical.

3) I was too selfish, not taking the TIME to find out their interests and to train them consistently and properly. I was always in such a hurry to complete "school". (LORD, please continue to deliver me from this mindset that high academics are SO important!)

4) I didn't spend enough time in giving hugs, praise, service, gifts, and just enjoying TIME with my children.

5) I didn't discipline lovingly at times.

6) I didn't really reverence their daddy and work on turning their hearts to him like I should.

7) I was lacking in many things including orderliness, cleanliness, and concern for the souls of others.

But thank-You, LORD, for the last verse of this psalm! It is my prayer, and I have great hope that as You give me grace to change, that You will indeed REDEEM us! Amen!

8 GOOD AND UPRIGHT IS THE LORD: THEREFORE WILL HE TEACH SINNERS IN THE WAY.

Yes, I'm a sinner "in the way". I'm already on the "way", and in fact, I'm half done with raising aND "schooling" these "blessings" You've given me, but I still have such a long ways to go! I have failed, but praise be to Your name, You are teaching this sinner "in the way"!

Why did You let me fail when I was trying so hard to do everything right as wife, mom, and teacher? Ah...because I was so proud! I was doing it for MY GLORY rather than for YOUR GLORY! And this next verse says that You only teach the MEEK.

9 THE MEEK WILL HE GUIDE IN JUDGMENT: AND THE MEEK WILL HE TEACH HIS WAY.

I was such a "hard nut" to crack, so You let chronic illness come into my life to work the beginnings of meekness in me. Thank-You, LORD! For when I could do almost nothing, You began to show me the way of PEACE. "...the MEEK...shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace." (Ps. 37:11) Thank-You, LORD, for being my WONDERFUL COUNSELOR and PRINCE of PEACE! This song says it all:

He washed my eyes with tears

That I might see.

The broken heart I had

Was good for me.

He tore it all apart

And looked inside.

He found it full of fear

and foolish pride.

He swept away the things

That made me blind,

And then I saw the clouds

Were silver-lined.

And now I understand

Twas best for me.

He washed my eyes with tears

that I might see.

10 ALL THE PATHS OF THE LORD ARE MERCY AND TRUTH UNTO SUCH AS KEEP HIS COVENANT AND HIS TESTIMONIES.

The "Lifestyle of Learning" path that brings peace for me and the children is the path of MERCY to me, and it is the path of TRUTH. Amen!

11 FOR THY NAME'S SAKE, O LORD, PARDON MINE INIQUITY, FOR IT IS GREAT.

Forgive me, LORD, for being so unbalanced! Pardon mine iniquity, for it is great. For THY NAME'S SAKE, redeem my family. May I have the right motives from now on, for Your glory! Amen!

12 WHAT MAN IS HE THAT FEARETH THE LORD? HIM SHALL HE TEACH IN THE WAY THAT HE SHALL CHOOSE.

"When I said, my foot slippeth; thy MERCY, O LORD, held me up! ((Ps. 94:18) Yes! And there is a promise for me here as I fear You. You will teach me "in the way", and You will teach me the path of Your choosing, the path for our family, the path of PEACE. LOL was surely not MY WAY at the beginning, but You have made it MY WAY! :) Hallelujah! Amen!

13 HIS SOUL SHALL DWELL AT EASE; AND HIS SEED SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH.

What a promise, LORD, a promise of peace for me and my children. I love this verse, too:

"But the MEEK shall inherit the earth and DELIGHT themselves in the abundance of PEACE." (Ps. 37:11) You are showing me that this verse its true! Amen!

14 THE SECRET OF THE LORD IS WITH THEM THAT FEAR HIM; AND HE WILL SHEW THEM HIS COVENANT.

LORD, Your SECRET of what I should do for my husband and children is there in Your hand, and You are slowing giving me that "piece of paper" with the counsel and instructions for each day. It is getting clearer in my mind, and You have said:

1) Don't stress yourself and your children out with a "tight schedule". Relax!

2) Patiently wait on God.

3) Speak gently and lovingly at the right time by the power of the Spirit.

4) Lots of hugs, praise, service, gifts and time are so important! Play with them; talk to them.

5) Don't criticize! Hold your tongue!

6) Praise! Praise! Praise! Pray, pray, pray! LOVE!

7) Remember to train and not to "crush"! Quick discipline is not always good. Stop and pray and seek God first concerning any discipline that needs to be done.

8) Remember that God is the God of HOPE and PEACE!

9) With THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known unto God!

15 MINE EYES ARE EVER TOWARD THE LORD; FOR HE SHALL PLUCK MY FEET OUT OF THE NET.

My eyes are on You, LORD, and I'm asking You to give me the perfect plan for my children for each moment of time. Thank-You that You promise to pluck my feet out of the "net of stress"! Thank-You that You promise to pluck my feet out of the "net of bad habits"! Thank-You that You promise to pluck my feet out of the "net of wrong training and 'schooling'" Thank-You.that You are my God of PEACE. Amen!