Gifts From God Meet the Duke Family! It has been our desire for several months to let all of you meet our wonderful friends, the Duke family of Woodbury, Tennessee! What a privilege it has been for us to know them for several years now, and we have enjoyed seeing their family grow from a comparatively small number of 5 members, to the amazing number of 13 members during those few short years! We have asked them to share their amazing adoption stories with all of you. Below are the results! =)- Summer and Melody Sister Renae, would you mind first listing all of the names and ages, as well as give brief descriptions of the hobbies and interests of each member in your family? (As you do, please specify which children were adopted, when they were adopted, and from where.) Sister Renae: Alan Duke ("Daddy") is 36 years old and is a wonderful father and the leader of our home. He is slightly tall, 6' 6" or so! He enjoys playing the piano and singing hymns and psalms to the LORD. He has a Lawn Furniture business here at our home. I, Renae Duke, ("Momma") am 34 years old. I love children, and being a mother. I enjoy sewing, cooking and tea parties. Midwifery is an important part of my life. Viyiday (pronounced “BG” for short) is 20 years old. She really enjoys sewing and flowers. Viyiday was adopted at 16 years old from Colombia, S.A. Grace (14) is very active and enjoys skating and bicycling. She was adopted at 10 years old from Colombia, S.A. Naomi (13) loves to draw and write stories. She is very good at training animals. She is training her mule, Hannah, in hopes that one day she will pull a wagon. She also raises dairy goats and chickens. Joshua (12) works with his father in the furniture shop and enjoys exploring the forest, waterfalls, and caves on our farm. Esther (11) really likes animals and is very gifted in language. She learned English rapidly after being adopted at 7 years old from Colombia, S.A. Jacob (10) enjoys bicycles and helping Daddy in the shop. He was adopted from Colombia, S.A. at age 6. Amanda Joy (9) is very joyful just like her name. She likes to climb trees and ride horses. She likes to write letters and has several pen pals. Jasmine LaBelle (7) likes to sing, skate, and play dolls in her doll house. Jasmine was adopted at 2 years old from Tenn. Jonathan (5) really loves to take things apart!! We hope that someday he will learn to put things back together again... =) He helps Daddy in the shop, too. Jonathan is very active and asks an awful lot of questions. He was adopted independently here in Tenn. at the age of 6 months. Jessica is 20 months old. Jessica means "special gift from God", and so she is. She is our little sunshine. Jessica likes dolls and rocks them to sleep. She likes to sing, gets into everything, and is really small for her age. She was adopted here in Tenn. Timothy Josiah is 1 year old this month (July). We call him our baby giant. He is very tall for his age. He is our miracle baby. He likes to EAT and climb. Wow, Sister Renae..that's quite a neat variety of ages! That's one of the benefits of having large families, right? It's good for children to be able to learn to relate to people of all ages, rather than just someone from their own peer groups! =) Hmmm...when did you and your husband first consider adoption as being an option for your own family and why? How old were your three children when you started transacting your family’s first adoption, and how did they respond? Also, would you mind telling us about Courtney, and what the Lord personally taught you through her short life and death? Sister Renae: We love children and consider them to be special gifts from God. We wanted a house full, but my health is not good while I’m pregnant. So after Amanda was born, the doctors started in about the size of our family (We had 3 children at the time.) and how we should seriously consider getting a tubal (surgery that permanently keeps a women from getting pregnant). They told us I would most likely die if I had another baby (We later found out that they tell the same story to every woman who has been pregnant more than 3 times.), and they also thought that the reason I had a miscarriage before Amanda was because of a heart defect that seemed to be hereditary in our family. (My husband and two sons also have it.) We decided they must be right. After all, they were the doctors. So we went ahead and had the surgery. We knew immediately that it was wrong, and started checking into a reversal, which cost $10,000. I cried for months. Amanda was still a baby, but my heart cried out for more children. The thought that we had caused the problem ourselves was more than I could bear. We started searching the scriptures about children and the fruit of the womb. I begged God for forgiveness, and our prayer was much like Hannah's in the Bible. Amanda was 1 year old, Joshua was 4 years old, and Naomi was 5 years old when we started looking into adoption. They wanted a baby, too. Courtney was our first adopted daughter. She was 3 weeks old when she came into our home. Courtney had 2 heart defects and was 5 lbs. She looked like a little doll. We were so filled with love for this beautiful baby. It was as if she was born to us, if not physically, then spiritually. She was my special gift; God had heard our prayers and what a blessing she was. Our life was great, and we were growing in the Lord as a family. When Courtney was 19 months old, the doctors said she needed surgery once again. She had already suffered through three of them, but I knew God was in control. The surgery lasted eleven hours, and she looked bad afterwards. I felt in my heart we were losing her and cried out to God, "PLEASE DONT TAKE MY BABY! PLEASE GOD, YOU KNOW MY HEART AND OUR LOVE FOR HER." I could hear her spirit saying, “Mommy let me go. I want to go home, I’m tired”. She wanted to go; I knew it. So Alan and I held her and rocked her to sleep for the last time, singing songs and telling her how nice it would be to be with Jesus. The next weeks passed by in a blur. I held her little blanket and cried for hours every day. Oh, the questions would not stop coming into my head. "Why ? Why my baby? I worked so hard for her. My arms are so empty. God, are we wrong to want more? Are you punishing us? Is adoption wrong?" I wanted to be mad at God. He took her. He knew what he was doing. So like a loving father He guided me back into his loving arms and held me there. My heart ached. Naomi, Joshua, and Amanda hurt in their own ways. Naomi blamed me. Joshua would cry and say he missed her. Amanda would laugh and say, "Remember when Courtney put pudding on her head? Oh, I’m glad she did that, aren’t you?" Alan was so wonderful during this time. He was open about the pain he felt, and he was there for us. He is such a good Daddy. God bless you, dear sister, for sharing about Courtney. We remember her dear little person, and missed her too, when the Lord took her. We know your pain must've been very great. How good it is that the Lord holds us in His loving arms in such situations! What were the circumstances that led to your second and third adoptions? Would you mind telling us about Jasmine, and when did Jonathan enter into the picture? Sister Renae: Four months after Courtney died, we got a call about a little girl who needed a foster home. She was 2 years old and needed a lot of love. The first time I saw her, I knew she was mine. She was wild and needed a lot of attention. Suddenly, my arms were not so empty. She had a lot of fears to work through. She kept us busy 24 hours a day! We begged to adopt her, but they said NO. However, we felt the Lord had given her to us and told the agency we would fight hard to keep her. God worked a miracle, and she is now ours. Nine months later, we found out about a little boy who was 6 months old and needed a family. We were so excited! We found out about him on a Friday and got him on the next Monday. Oh, he was so cute! He fit right in immediately. That made us 5 children, and we were so happy. What is the full story behind your adoption of the 4 children from Colombia? What were the difficulties and setbacks involved in the adoption and transportation process from Columbia to the United States? As far as the language and cultural barriers were concerned, did you and your family have any concerns? How did your family respond to the possibility of having these 4 Spanish speaking children join you? Sister Renae: We received these wonderful adoption magazines every month in the mail. Once again I picked this certain magazine to look at. I turned to the middle and there it was — a little picture of 4 children waiting to be adopted. This was their last chance to be adopted together. Why did I always turn to them? We didn’t have the money for a foreign adoption... And four grown children who didn’t speak English!?- was I crazy or what??? Anyway, I showed it to Alan, and he said "Hey that little girl looks like you! Well, kinda. Call on them!" And so the work began.. We needed $16,000 to get them here. Wow! That’s a lot of money, and we didn’t have it. Our house was too small, we didn’t make enough money, and we had a child die less than a year from that time. The agency said, "NO. NO. NO." In my heart I knew they were ours. We didn’t know how we were going to get them, but we knew we had to try. So we tried everything we could think of to raise the money. Every time we tried, it flopped. We decided to start the paper work on faith and ask God to make it happen. So we took our hands off of the situation and prayed. We made copies of the photo in the magazine and gave it to all our friends so they would remember to pray for them, too. We prayed for them daily, just as if they were here. ("Lord, bless their day. Keep them safe, and work in their hearts preparing them for the time when they will come home.") We got a lot of “Are ya’ll crazy? Those children are going to be wild; they’ll ruin your home” comments. We just prayed harder. The money came from some very strange sources, just as we needed it, and usually it was within dollars of the exact amount needed. We were up and down.. Colombia would say, "Yes you can have 3 of them", and we would say, "No we want all four." Wait.. Wait.. Wait.. Hurry, we need this paper! Wait.. Wait.. Wait.. and so it went for over a year. Then the call came! "Come and get them.. You can have 3 of them, and maybe 4 if all goes well." So we prepared to go to South America. The main thing I noticed when I walked off the plane was all the guns. There were lots of automatic machine guns in the hands of what I would call BOYS. Yes, I was a little bit scared. Alan remembers the traffic. There were no rules, and it was wild. I closed my eyes and prayed most of the time we were moving. When we got to the orphanage, there were four beautiful Hispanic children waiting for us! The oldest girl was Viyiday. They had told her that when we saw how old she looked, we wouldn’t want her, so she was not sure if she was going with us, or if she was saying good-bye to her brother and sisters for the last time. As you can imagine, she was very nervous. Of course we wanted her! She was our daughter, and we had been praying for her for over a year. Anyway, our first days were...... exciting, to say the least. The children looked at us- we looked at them... I seriously wondered if we had missed the Lord's will at first. They slowly started to learn English, and we learned some Spanish, but communication was slow. Then one morning 6 months later, we woke up, and wow it happened! We were a family! Now I can't imagine life without them. We feel so blessed to have them in our family. Ah, you are blessed, Sister Renae! If it is a blessing just to have them as our friends, how much more it must be a blessing to have them as members of your family..! We vividly remember our excitement when we found out that you were thinking about adopting the Colombian Children. We must admit that we ourselves waited quite impatiently for you to get all of that paperwork done! =) Ok, Naomi, here's some questions for you.=) How did you feel about having three new sisters, and a new brother? How did their coming personally affect your life? Naomi: I was eight when we first started considering adopting the 4 children from Colombia. Mom was a little worried that I wouldn’t like other girls ‘taking my place’, but I didn’t mind that much at all, and didn’t hesitate to say "yes". (Mom and Dad always asked us what we thought before they started with the paper work). It took a long time, and some times I did wonder if this was really God’s will. When I heard that Mom and Dad had to go to get my new brother and sisters in Colombia, I was pretty scared. But God had his hand in this, and they were soon back with Viyiday, Grace, Esther, and Jacob. It was real hard at first since they could not speak English and we could not speak Spanish. However, our friend, Crystal, stayed with us awhile to translate. Before the adoption (while Mom was working on paper work) I studied Spanish and learned a few sentences, but actually speaking it was a lot harder than I thought. I learned most of the Spanish I know now by just listening to the conversation of the other children. After a month I could talk pretty well in Spanish, and Esther was great in English. Now language is not a problem in our family, but we are not perfect. We have problems just like everybody else. Having a big family has its ups and downs sometimes, but we have a lot of fun most of the time. I’m glad God gave me a big family. Ah yes, you are right, Naomi. Having a large family does have it's ups and downs. Although our family is not quite as large as your family, I would have to say that the "downs" are always worth the "ups"! =) Some people often wonder how in the world the mothers of such large families are able to make it with all of the work that has to be done. To briefly answer that wonder, I must quickly state that in large families there are plenty of children to do their share of the work, thus relieving much of the burden from their parents! =)... Okay, Viyiday, would you mind sharing a little bit about your life at the Colombian orphanage? When you first heard that a family in the US wanted to adopt you and your three siblings, what did you think? How did you respond? How did you feel about leaving your Colombian friends? When you got to the US, what were some of the biggest challenges you found yourself faced with? When did you first realize your need for salvation? Would you mind telling us about your salvation experience, and how Jesus made a difference in your life afterwards? Viyiday: When we were put in the orphanage at Bogota, I was 9 years old. Grace was 4, Esther was 1, and Jacob was a newborn. They separated us; Esther and Jacob went to the nursery, and Grace and I went in with the older children. It was hard to be separated for awhile, but then we got used to it. Two years later we were moved to another orphanage. Then after 2 months they moved me to another orphanage for girls. It was very hard on me to not see my brothers and sisters. Grace was moved up with me after 2 years. Soon I learned the ropes, and I stayed there 5 years. I went to public school and attended a Catholic Church. I was able to see Esther and Jacob once a month. I did not have the right friends. The teachers at the orphanage decided to put me in a convent, where I lived with Nuns and went to their private school . Living with the Nuns was not easy at all for me. I had to dress differently. I had to dress modestly for school, and I could not come and go as I pleased. They taught us a lot about the Catholic Church, as well as how to sew and type. One day I heard that a family from the United States was interested in adopting my brother and 2 sisters. They showed me a picture of the family. I was very sad that I might not see my brother and sisters again. However a part of me was happy that they would be adopted. Then a couple of weeks later, on a Monday, before school started, they told me to pack my bag. They told me that I was going to meet the new parents of my brother and sisters. I was very nervous. I thought I was going to say good bye to them for the last time. The social worker told me that there might be a small chance that this family would want me too. Then inside I knew I would be adopted along with my brother and sisters. When I met my parents for the first time, I thought, "WOW! My new dad is very tall!" I did not know how to act or what to say. My parents were different from anyone I had ever known. They dressed differently and had different beliefs than I did. It was hard leaving my best friend, school, and the world that I knew, to fly to a country where I didn’t speak the language and knew no one. A friend of my moms' came to Colombia with them to get us. Her name was Crystal, and she knew Spanish. She translated as Dad read the Bible to us in our family devotions. At first I was not really open to the Word of God, because I had been taught different than Christian beliefs. I would try to argue about our different beliefs, but she stood firm in what she believed. I was not happy inside. I knew I was missing something. I started asking a lot of questions. My grandmother gave me a Bible that was a English/Spanish translation. I started reading my Bible. My Dad would help me with my questions. One day I realized that I was a sinner and needed to be saved from my sins. I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and asked him to be the Lord of my life. I was very happy. The Lord showed me the areas of my life that I needed to give to Him. I seek the Lord daily and continue to grow in Him. I enjoy all my brothers and sisters, and I like being a part of a big family. Sometimes it's hard, but most of the time it's fun. I praise the Lord for my new life, home, family, friends, Church, and a new beginning with Him! Thank you so much, Viyiday, for sharing your testimony with us! The Lord truly has blessed you by allowing you to be adopted into a Christian family, and for saving your soul! We are so grateful that the Lord chose to be merciful to you. You are a dear sister to us. God bless you! Back to you now, Sister Renae! =) In the comparatively short time that the Colombian children have been a part of your family, how have they adjusted to the culture, the language, and to being a part of the Duke family? =) Sister Renae: This is the great part. It has been 4 years now since they have joined our family . They all speak English and fit in very nicely. They are our children just as if they were born to us. Oh, we have the normal family problems ("Who touched my brush ? It’s your turn to do this!", kinda stuff ) that we work on daily. Each child has their own personality and special strengths. The diversity in our family makes us strong. A little bit different, yes, but strong. We get a lot of looks and questions, which then open up conversations so we can witness for the Lord. Wow, that is great, Sister Renae! We understand that after you adopted the Colombian children, you have since adopted another little girl, Jessica, and that the Lord has also finally blessed you with another biological child. Would you mind telling us how the Lord worked all of this out? Also, would you mind telling us your recent pursuit in midwifery, and some of your experiences with it? Perhaps you would like to tell all the girls here who are interested in midwifery about the affordable correspondence course you are considering offering! Sister Renae: When Jonathan was getting big enough to not need me as much anymore, I started studying midwifery. I took a correspondence course and apprenticed with several local midwifes. Then a school opened up a few hours away, so I attended school there also. This school was very worldly and only one other Christian attended it with me. It was great when it came to the information I learned, but it was terrible to see the other types of midwives that would be working out there. Many of them claimed to be witches. That's when I started seeking out Christian midwives to work with. They are few. I immediately got very busy delivering babies. I loved it! However, my family was in shock. Mommy was gone sometimes for days at a time. I never dreamed I could be so busy! But because there was such a great need, who could I say "No" to? They were all Christian families that wanted a Christian midwife, as it should be.. Then it happened! I had just attended several births in one week. One of them was a hard one, and I was exhausted as I crawled into bed. Just as my head hit the pillow, my pager went off. I started crying, and then I prayed, "God, I know you called me to be a midwife, but I can’t do it all. I know you are there and all the glory of these births is yours... But I am so tired. Please give me and my family the strength to do this or make it where I have to slow down." And so God answered my prayers. We got a call about a special needs baby girl. She was only 4 lbs., and the doctors did not know what she would become. She had several birth defects. (She was born with one leg and spinal problems.) We didn’t think she sounded special needs, really. So what if she may use a wheel chair; big deal! Some people are fat and some wear glasses. We all have something different about us. She was beautiful! And oh, we all went crazy over her! I knew that God had answered my prayers, and I would have to slow down a bit. Then I found out that I was pregnant. (I had gone through a tubal reversal 1 year before.) At first I was dismayed. You see, I was already holding a newborn, and being pregnant meant having two babies that would be only seven months apart. Wow! that’s kind of like twins. God really answered my prayers and brought me to full stop. Timothy Josiah was born, weighing in at 10lbs 3 oz. And Jessica, even though she was older, was just about the same size. We have had such fun with these two special gifts. I do love babies! I didn’t get a full night's sleep for 18 months. They take a lot of work, and so I took a 6 month maternity leave from midwifery. I finally started back by attending births slowly, promising God and my family that my priorities would be in order. With their help and blessing, we could help other families who needed us. Midwifery is not just my job, it’s my families' job, too. When I get a call, someone has to take over my responsibility. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes it's not fun at all. We all work together to make it work out right. It is a family ministry. I have gotten calls from all over Tennessee and surrounding states. The need for Christian midwifes is great. Our family has started SHIPHRAH MINISTRIES - ACADEMICS OF CHRISTIAN MIDWIFERY, a school for young women to learn the skills to be a midwife. The response to our school was overwhelming. We will be offering the school as a correspondence course if there is enough interest. When Sister Renae wrote to us recently about her midwifery correspondence course, we became very excited about the possibility of taking it ourselves, as we would love to become midwives someday, if it is the Lord's will. (Even if we don't, though, it would be helpful to have knowledge on this subject, especially in the case of an emergency.) Because we know that a number of you girls out there are also interested in studying to become midwives, we thought that we would give you a little more information about the course Sister Renae is considering offering. (Before she makes a total commitment, she would like to know if many others are even interested.) The course in Christian midwifery will consist of 10 classes scheduled as follows: What is a Christian Midwife? (Authority, Accountability, etc..) & Prenatal Care I / Prenatal Care II & Normal Development of Babies / Labor and Delivery- Normal Mechanics of Birth / Complications & Emergencies / Herbs in Pregnancy & Nutrition / Newborn Exam & Postpartum Instructions / High Risk Pregnancy & Dr. and Other Midwife Consultation- Back up / Neonatal Resuscitation I and II / Charting, Abbreviations, and Files / Basic Suturing & Transporting You receive a notebook with handouts, diagrams, terminology and charts that you can use in your practice. Each class will also include terminology, review of written assignments and required research review. When you finish the class, you will have all the teaching materials to help teach families about home birth, nutrition, etc.., and will be ready to apprentice under a midwife. Those that complete the entire 10 classes will receive a certificate of completion. The fee is only $30 per class, in addition to a $10 registration fee. Those under 18 years of age must have parents' approval and written signatures. They would also need a phone consultation with the parents. There will also be required reading materials. If you think that this is something you would be interested in, please contact the Dukes. Please note: Any of this information is subject to change, and if there is not enough interest, the course may not be available. Now back to you again, Sister Renae.=) Before you go, perhaps you would like to tell all of our readers how the Lord has helped you to grow spiritually through all of your experiences with adoption and midwifery. What has the Lord taught you through each of your children, and how do you see that He has blessed you by allowing each of them to be a part of your family? After your many experiences with adoption, what is the one main thing that you would tell someone else who is considering adoption? Sister Renae:The Lord has truly blessed our home. "Like arrows are in the hand of a mighty man so are the children of your youth." We want our children to be mighty warriors for God's kingdom. We have grown so much in the Lord, and the Lord has heard my cries and filled my heart with special gifts. Adoption is spoken of throughout the Bible. We are adopted into his kingdom. We have learned that the Lord is in control of our lives; that he has sent each of these children to be a part of our family, all in different ways. They were meant for us from the beginning of time. I can’t imagine life without them. Adoption is the right way for many families to grow. Prayer is so important. We pray as a family before adoption, and then for the child to be adopted. We search our hearts, and we ask God to prepare the child's heart for our home. We ask God to give us strength, wisdom, and love for the new child. We pray for the birth parents. We ask God to bless them for choosing life, and for making an adoption plan for their child. We pray for the adoption agencies and case workers that are involved with our family. God is so good. We only want what he has planned for us. We do not want to be out of his will. God has given us a heart for children. He knows the desires of our heart. He has blessed our home. He has taken something sad and made something beautiful. Beauty for ashes. God made our family a little bit different than most. We are different races, sizes, and colors. We are different in the way we look, but we all love Him. Together we are strong, and strong families give children the environment they need to grow in the Lord. I guess we are a lot like HIS FAMILY. If anyone is interested in adoption or midwifery, please feel free to write our family. Alan and Renae Duke 4564 Hollow Springs Road Bradyville, Tenn. 37026 E-Mail: jos5@juno.com OR Call us: (615) 765-7368 YWSH Main Page